golden words

"Champions aren't made in the gyms.
Champions are made from something they have
Deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision."
~Muhammad Ali~

"Every day offers you 10,000 reasons to cry, but if you can find
Just one reason to laugh then you will be all right." ~Maya Angelou~
Some people are making such thorough preparation
For rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine. ~William Feather~
"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to
Say and then don't say it." ~Sam Levenson~

Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear
Three kinds---

All they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.
 ~Edward Everett Hale~

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
You'll probably never do much of anything."
 ~Win Borden~

 

"What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me."
 ~Helen Keller~
 
"Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself." ~Doris Lessing~

Life is a glass given to us to fill;
A busy life is filling it with as much as it can hold;
A hurried life has had more poured into it than it can contain. 
   ~William Adams Brown~

"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same.
 Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination."~Unknown~

Never give way to anger - otherwise in one moment you could
 Burn up the joy that you collected over a long period.  
 ~unknown~
 The most difficult thing I have ever had to do is follow the guidance I prayed for.~Albert Schweitzer~

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who
Face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other."~Douglas H. Everett

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life,
 The whole aim and end of human existence.~Aristotle~

coconut pick up lines

Coconut Pick Up Lines

Hey, you have a lovely bunch of coconuts.
They say coconuts don't fall far from the tree, so that must mean your mom has big boobs too!

Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree;
hold on to your nuts

I'm gonna give you the blow of your life

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/coconutjokes.html

vampire woman

A real-life 'Vampire Woman'

Meet Ms Maria Jose Cristerna, a real-life 'Vampire Woman'. The 35-year-old ex-attorney started modifying her body after she divorced her ex-husband, who she said was "abusive". Her modifications include titanium horn implants on her skull, fangs, as well as large ear rings and facial piercings. According to online reports, Ms Cristerna said her tattoos and body modifications made her feel like a "warrior". The mother of three currently works as a tattoo artist and body modification specialist. She has performed previously at a tattoo exhibition where she was suspended from the ceiling from hooks pierced in her skin. (Photos: AFP, Reuters) Maria Jose Cristerna, better known as the "La Mujer Vampiro" or "Female Vampire", poses during a tattoo exhibition in Caracas, Venezuela. She recently made an appearance at the Venezuela Expo Tattoo 2012, where tattoo artists and enthusiasts gathered. The 35-year-old woman is a former attorney who began tattooing her body after her divorce. She is currently a tattoo and body modification artist. She also inserted body modifications into her body, resulting in horn-like protrusions from her skull. Online sources reported her as saying that her ex-husband was abusive and that the tattoos made her feel like a "warrior". Her body modifications include fangs in her teeth. The mother of three children, Ms Cristerna says she would like to send a message to people to not judge others by their appearance. Other modifications include big ear rings and nose rings. Online reports said Ms Cristerna has had body casts made of her for exhibition in museums around the world. Ms Cristerna, also known as "Mujer Vampiro" (Vampire Woman), is seen backstage before a previous exhibition in Guadalajara, Mexico Ms Cristerna performs during an exhibition in Guadalajara, Mexico. http://sammyboy.com/showthread.php?109412-Crazy-angmor-choose-to-look-like-vampire-after-marriage-failed

Mail order brides from Vietnam, warranty one year!!!

Mail order brides from Vietnam, warranty one year!!! Looking for a new wife - Vietnam is the place ! I like conditions 1 & 4

what a jokes? ha ha

LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .. NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific. ROCK FM ( PRESTON ) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta? JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three? CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL ) Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ? Caller: Japan. Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ........ Mexico ? PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE ) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days. DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ? Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ? Contestant: No.

Love Is Blue

Love Is Blue Lyrics

Performed by Frank Sinatra

Blue, blue, my world is blue
Blue is my world now I'm without you
Gray, gray, my life is gray
Cold is my heart since you went away

Red, red, my eyes are red
Crying for you alone in my bed
Green, green, my jealous heart
I doubted you and now we're apart

CHORUS:
When we met how the bright sun shone
Then love died, now the rainbow is gone

Black, black, the nights I've known
Longing for you so lost and alone
Gone, gone, the love we knew
Blue is my world now I'm without you.

Repeat CHORUS

Black, black, the nights I've known
Longing for you so lost and alone
Blue, blue, my world is blue
Blue is my world now I'm without you

London 2012 organisers go for food safety gold at Olympic Games

Government to crack down on unlicensed food vendors and caterers seeking to cut corners to cash in on Olympic visitors

They may be the purveyors of the traditional – if notoriously greasy – staples enjoyed by millions of British sport fans, but the ubiquitous burger van could be hard to find at the London Olympics.
The government's food watchdog is cracking down on unlicensed vans selling burgers, hot dogs and fish and chips to the millions of visitors to the 2012 Games in an attempt to protect them from food poisoning and from being ripped off by rogue operators.
The Food Standards Agency (FSA) has released £1.5m to pay for an extra 14,700 food hygiene inspections from April to September, covering restaurants, pubs, stalls and vans across the country during the Olympics and Paralympics.
Inspectors face a raft of challenges from people trying to cash in on the Games, including an expected spike in bootleg alcohol, businesses stockpiling food due to delivery routes being cut and people serving food from their front gardens.
The drive will be led by hundreds of environmental health officials, overseen by 10 senior officers, providing advice and extra training to restaurants and caterers who fail additional hygiene and safety inspections.
Tough enforcement action will follow where public health is put at risk. Unlicensed street vendors near Olympic venues will have their vehicles seized.
Sarah Appleby, head of enforcement and local authority delivery at the agency, said: "London 2012 is about celebrating everything that the UK has to offer and food is an important part of this.
"We have so much fantastic food to showcase to Games visitors, and we want food business owners to ensure that everything they sell is the best it can be. It will be an exceptionally busy time for a lot of these businesses, and the FSA is providing extra support and advice to make sure they are well prepared to meet the challenge."
The move is likely to trigger fresh criticism of the stranglehold on Games food and drink held by sponsors McDonald's (its largest UK restaurant is in the Olympic Park), Cadbury and Coca-Cola. The latter alone will serve 23m soft drinks due to its near-monopoly at Olympics venues.
Airport-style security at the Olympic Park will prevent visitors from bringing their own food, though they will be able to refill bottles from water fountains.
In what is being dubbed the largest peacetime catering operation in the UK, Olympics organiser Locog is preparing to provide 14m meals – for 9 million visitors and 24,000 athletes and team officials – from the time the first athletes arrive at the end of June to the official shutdownafter the Paralympics in September, across 40 different locations.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/apr/03/london-2012-olympics-food-safety-crackdown

Lonely car

Crown Him With Many Crowns

Crown Him With Many Crowns

Musical adaptation: michael w. smith

Crown him with many crowns,
The lamb upon the throne:
Hark! how the heav’nly anthem drowns
All music but it’s own!
Awake, my soul, and sing
Of him who died for thee,
And hail him as thy matchless king
Thru all eternity.
Crown him with many crowns
Crown him with many crowns

Crown him the lord of heav’n:
One with the father known.
One with the spirit thru him giv’n
From yonder glorious throne.
To thee be endless praise.
For thou hast died for me;
Be thou, o lord, thru endless days
Adored and magnified

Adored and magnified
Crown him with many crowns

His glories now we sing,
Who died and rose on high,
Who died eternal life to bring
And...lives that death may die.

Crown him with many crowns

Having a bad day?

Having a bad day?
Think you are having a bad day ?
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....



-
Still think you're having a bad day ?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.


Still having a bad day ?





Just remember, it could be worse..
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.




Still think you are having a bad day ?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.




STILL think you're having a bad day ?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.




What ?! STILL having a bad day ??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.





There now, feeling better?

A True Friend

A True Friend

Anonymous

A true friend is the one who picks you up when you fall
A true friend is one that won't lie
A true friend is there when you call
A true friend is there when you want to die
A true friend knows just what to say
A true friend won't care what other people think
A true friend will help you find your way
A true friend will make sure you don't sink
A true friend will help you choose your path
A true friend will know when something is wrong
A true friend has to sometimes face your wrath
A true friend makes you feel like you belong
A true friend is a real best friend.